Should i ignore my ex during no contact

For starters, no contact is what gets your ex to remember you! It has the total opposite effect of forgetting you or of them moving on.

should i ignore my ex during no contact

The fact that your ex broke up with you shows that they took you for granted and, therefore, forgot you. They forgot you, not in terms of forgetting that you exist, but in terms of their attraction falling to the point that other things or people in their life moved to the forefront of their mind.

You should have treated texting like a tennis match where you wait on them to text back and take turns reaching out at certain times. If you were the one who texted more, you were too easily available and your texts were seen as a regular thing instead of something special. It suggests you believe that your significant other will easily see that and go to that other, better person.

It does this because having the opportunity to miss each other is very important because it is in being without each other that we learn the most about our feelings. The way that you can remind your ex that you are there and that they once had strong feelings of love, desire, and attraction toward you is for you to leave them alone.

In this way, your constant presence makes your ex forget about you and your ex will be more likely to move on. It is when you are not there that your ex feels that something is wrong or different. Have you ever been riding in your car with the music on for a long period of time and then you turn it off? In large part that was because you knew you were going to get presents, a party, and, probably, cake.

Then your birthday would just be any other day. You staying silent prevents their curiosity from being satisfied and in that way you influence how and what your ex thinks during no contact to a certain degree. It is your use of the no contact rule that will create the mystery and will cause your ex to reflect on the relationship they had with you.

As the days pile up of you not contacting your ex, the power compounds and your ex can often feel your absence like fingernails down a chalkboard. Your silence most certainly does not go unnoticed but actually shows your ex that you have strength, dignity, and maturity. My Emergency Breakup Kit expands on this and provides more sophisticated strategies that work to get your ex back. October 4, October 5, October 1, October 5, August 12, September 28, By Chris Seiter.

The No Contact Rule is a predetermined amount of time during which you cut off all communication with your ex, without explanation. In the meantime, your ex has the chance to recover from the breakup and forget some of the negative emotions and memories associated with it, and with you. He has the chance to miss you. The No Contact Rule really is the best first step after my free quizof course! And if your ex contacts you first? Your mind is trying to find ways to process this breakup, and it will find interesting ways to rationalise why you should get back in contact with your ex.

If you break your No Contact Rule prematurely before your predetermined length of time, you need to start over from Day 1. These are all really good signs that No Contact is working.

These are all common reactions, and show that he is having an emotional reaction to your withdrawal. There are a couple of situations where ignoring him might not be possible — if he turns up and you are face to face, or if he asks to get his belongings back or you need something important or valuable back from him. If you refuse a reasonable request, you would seem rude and obstinate; not very helpful if you want to get back together.

Leave it. If he wants something back, be gracious about it and agree to meet him to exchange. When you do see him, keep the interaction short and sweet. You are busy getting on with your life. If he turns up suddenly wherever you are and you have to talk to him or you would appear completely rude — the same rules apply. If you are out and about, I will assume you are being the Ungettable Girl and looking the best you can.

So, if he asks how you are, tell him you are great, thanks. Be the one to end the conversation. You want to leave him wanting more. Especially if you were gnatting him beforehand bothering him constantly, like an annoying little fly.

And most especially if, at the same time as rebuffing all contact, you are seemingly having the time of your life and not wallowing in the usual post-breakup misery. His male pride will be smarting at least a little bit. Now the issue is that if you break your own No Contact Rule by responding to any messages, you undermine the effectiveness of the Rule. His curiosity disappears. I can get her to talk to me anytime I want.

Oftentimes you find the answers you need in the grey areas. That can certainly be true with a No Contact Rule.If you are wondering if you should ignore your ex when they reach out while you are in no contact, be sure to watch the video above all the way through and then read this important article below to the end. There are some dating coaches out there who advise people to ignore their ex or ignore a text from an ex as a supposed strategy to get them back.

Some coaches suggest that you should ignore a text from your ex when you are in no contact after they broke up with you, but what actually happens most of the time is that you risk helping your ex to move on from you. They might even be limiting their advice to a single experience they personally had with a boyfriend or girlfriend.

If your ex reaches out to you and you ignore them, what message are they supposed to derive from you not responding? That you have blocked them. There are many potential conclusions your ex could make from you ignoring them during no contact.

First, let me clarify that the no contact rule is a title that describes your response after a breakup if you want to re-attract your ex who broke up with you.

What Your Ex Is Feeling During No Contact

On top of that, your ex will likely feel foolish and silly texting you again because it is like they are talking to a wall! That is, most of the time, your ex will stop reaching out to you completely if you ignore them and then you are in a difficult, tricky position.

You might be upset at your ex. You are probably hurt. I understand that as well, if not better, than anyone. Though it feels like your ex is being cruel to you, that was almost certainly not their intention.

Unless there were heated arguments and fights, and even in those cases, your ex very likely still cares a great deal for you and thinks of you often. Relationships are not built on ignoring each other or playing games with each other. Based on tragic cases I have observed first hand, where someone came to me after being given poor advice by another relationship coach, a friend, or their own conclusion, when you ignore your ex, it rarely ends up with the two of you getting back together.

In the video above I discuss some things you could say in response and I go into much greater detail in my Emergency Breakup Kit which I highly suggest you get if you want your ex back and want to keep them!

Texting Your Ex Is OK In Only These 4 Situations, According To An Expert

October 4, October 5, October 1, October 5, August 12, September 28, Coach Lee helps people get their ex back after a breakup. He developed The Emergency Breakup Kita powerful guide to winning back an ex. You must be logged in to post a comment. Skip to content If you are wondering if you should ignore your ex when they reach out while you are in no contact, be sure to watch the video above all the way through and then read this important article below to the end. This calls into serious question the professional experience of the coaches who suggest this.

Related Posts. About Coach Lee Coach Lee helps people get their ex back after a breakup. Leave a Reply Cancel reply You must be logged in to post a comment. One sec before you go! Articles on dating relationships, getting an ex back after a break up, and content to help you experience the best in your relationships.

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See our Terms of Use. To be updated by email when we have new content, click here to join our free mailing list.Some of life's most perplexing questions — like, "Why is the sky blue? Picture this. You've just finished watching The Office on Netflix for the 12th time and you realize, alarmingly, that you have a lot of time to yourself now. In fact, you're bored and the silence in your tiny, empty apartment is uncomfortable. Like, did you know that your upstairs neighbors have nightly fights about whose turn it is to change the cat litter?

You do now. That's how quiet things have been on your end. Even the high from text messages about canceled plans doesn't do it for you anymore. You miss hearing your phone buzz and picking it up to see a familiar name that's just popping in to say hey. And, TBH, you don't care that you have to be the one to initiate the conversation so you do it.

You text your ex. I know because I've been there. I've sent those messages and yeah, maybe they worked at the time.

should i ignore my ex during no contact

I probably got the attention or company or comfort I was craving. But I've also been on the receiving end of those messages and all I truly felt was awkward — especially if I'd been happily moving on with my life since the breakup. Is it ever OK to text your ex, then?

Will My Ex Forget About Me During No Contact?

Yes, of course, it is. If your split was amicable and casual texts back and forth don't set either of you back emotionally, it's OK. But this isn't the only rule. I spoke to relationship coach Chris Armstrong about when you should and shouldn't text your ex.For some, no contact seems like a simple concept where you do not make any contact with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend whatsoever. Using it is a highly effective way to get an ex to come back to you after they broke up with you.

To others, and maybe the majority, it is extremely difficult to keep yourself from reaching out to the person you love and with whom you desperately want to reconnect. It often feels like, if you could simply talk to your ex that an understanding could be reached and everything could go back to how it was with the two of you being together again.

That is almost certainly not the case and a helpful way to think about this is to remind yourself that your ex knows you love them.

Get up and walk away, get off the phone, stop texting it should be a strike against your ex if they dumped you by text — you can do betteror whatever the case might be.

If your ex feels like you are trying to reel them back in, it will seem like they are on some kind of controlling leash. That will have the opposite effect of what you want in that they will want to be free of you and away from you even more because you are keeping them from what they want at the moment.

You are doing no contact right and correctly when you let them experience what it is like not to be your boyfriend or girlfriend. The no contact rule that I teach does not mean that you ignore your ex if they reach out to you. If your ex texts you during no contactyou should text back politely and casually. In a reversal of positions, if they feel you have rejected them, then they might even go into no contact themselves just to try to start their own healing process.

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Though you should do your best not to be anxious, there is no need in playing games like ignoring your ex unless you have decided that you no longer want to get back together.

You likely understand the importance of not contacting your ex and you are wanting to make sure you do it correctly. In order to do no contact the right way, do not initiate communication with your ex in anyway whatsoever also see, Should You Break No Contact?

That means no texts, no calls, no online messages, no likes, no retweets, no asking their friends about them, no sending them gifts, no smoke signals, no telegrams, no Morse code, no communicating at all.

Three Incredible Facts On Why You Need To Ignore Your Ex And Go No Contact

That way, they base their decision on getting back with you based on what the relationship itself was like instead of you whining, crying, begging, pleading, yelling, and the other emotional tantrums people often do in a very misguided effort to get their ex back but that actually repeals them faster than anything else.

Anything that can even be perceived as reaching out to them relieves their curiosity and allows them to believe that you are just waiting on them to come back. That will cause them to lose attraction for you and the odds of them ever coming back become much less.

should i ignore my ex during no contact

Get my powerful guide to getting your ex back with the Emergency Breakup Kit. October 4, October 5, October 1, October 5, August 12, September 28, Coach Lee helps people get their ex back after a breakup.Watch the important video above all the way through to learn what to do when your ex contacts you during no contact. Your education on this topic and preparedness for when your ex reaches out is extremely important to getting your ex back so take your time on this page.

In an effort to get your ex back, you applied the no contact rule. You showed composure, confidence, class, and dignity. Though the articles on this website assured you that the odds were in your favor that your ex would contact you, it still seemed like a fairy tale.

You picked it up and it was a message from your ex! You knew that how you responded to your ex in this situation was important. Your ex has texted you, should you text back? I want you to know what to do and what not to do when your ex contacts you during your application of the no contact rule. It would seem that you would be able to use the history that the two of you have to your advantage. As you walk that trail you will find that thorns have grown over parts of it and trees have fallen down over the path.

The relationship has now seen a time of separation and hurt feelings.

What To Do When Your Ex Contacts You During No Contact

It is different in complex and in simple ways. You want a new relationship that still has many of the same elements from the previous one but that is on a stronger foundation and can last.

should i ignore my ex during no contact

In this way, they are taking minimal risk but likely hoping that you will stick your neck out and express desire to get back together with them. So when your ex reaches out with casual or even flirtatious texts, these are breadcrumbs or bread crumbs that they hope will leave a trail that you will follow to the endpoint of you being the one to say that you want to get back together with them or make the first move.

Some people believe that your ex must directly state that they want to get back together or you should not participate in the conversation. I will get into that more in this article but I can tell you that breadcrumbing is not a bad thing if you want your ex back. It should seem that such an idea is not on your mind and that you have most certainly not been sitting around waiting on them to contact you.

The very fact that your ex has reached out to you texts, emails, snaps, or calls probably means that your no contact has been able to make your ex miss you and they are interested in getting back together — at least to some degree. If your ex is contacting you during no contact, the odds are extremely high that they want to see you and are thinking they want to get back together with you if you will have them.By Chris Seiter.

The first thing is to actually stop by my website Ex Boyfriend Recovery and take my ex recovery chances quiz. Using that information I can actually put it through an advanced algorithm to give you an idea of what kind of chance you have of getting your ex back. So, if you want to take that quiz all you simply have to do is go to my website or click the button below. When I was brainstorming how to present this information to you, I came up with kind of, an interesting idea and that was, breaking up the feelings that your ex is feeling into five distinct stages.

These are the five stages you can expect your ex to feel during a no contact rule. I feel like I should include in this conversation that a typical no contact rule will last anywhere from 21 days to 45 days depending on the severity of your particular situation. This means that every ex will react a little bit differently to the no contact rule.

For example, sometimes stage one can last for two weeks while stage two can only last a few days. They feel very calm and as if they made the correct decision to leave the relationship. Like I said, this will typically last from anywhere between three days to a week. Relationships are often defined by their patterns. This is especially true when it comes to communication.

Often when we are locked into a relationship with someone we get into certain communication patterns with that person. Well, when that pattern gets interrupted with a no contact rule you can start to notice worry within your ex. And this is usually rare, but does happen, especially if you are on your social media game.

This is a very common breakup behavior. So, there are a couple of things that you may see them do in this particular stage. Outcome number one is, they may just completely ignore you.

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The other approach, or the other thing that you may see start to happen is, they will start to text you. Things of this nature are simply a reaction to stage three. Some exes will get in touch with you to try to make amends for their outbursts in the angry stage. I was just having a tough day. So, 24 to 30 days you have really stuck to your guns in the no contact rule.

They may fidget and constantly check their phone to see if you have reached out. Are they okay? How are they living life without me? So, you may start to see a flood of text messages coming in towards the end of the no contact rule as well.

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And those are the five stages that are most common with how your ex is going to feel after a breakup. Your email address will not be published.


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